Last week

So nearly a week on I feel ready to write about what’s been happening. We thought chris had got over the worst effects of the radiation and we were looking forward to Christmas. I really wanted to make this Christmas memorable for us as a family as it is quite possibly the last one we will spend as a family of five. Coronavirus has robbed us of many opportunities to make memories for the children, trip to legoland and a tour of the Harry Potter studios but I was determined it was not going to ruin Christmas. I wanted to have lots of fun, eat and drink lots and just make happy memories. Alas that was not meant to be. Chris has been tired in the lead up to Christmas, but I put that down to the fact the kids are at home and he hasn’t had chance to properly rest. So we woke up Christmas morning, kids opened their stockings, we came downstairs and opened other presents. Then we had our family tradition of a friend breakfast with a cheeky glass of Buck’s Fizz. All going well, so we thought. At 11.15 I was sitting on the floor trying to sort the leads for the switch as chris was just just sitting on the sofa. I looked over and noticed his left side of his mouth twitching, I just commented that he may have trapped a nerve, then the whole side of his face started to twitch. Knew something was wrong so I phoned 999 and ushered the children out of the room as he begun to go into a full blown seizure. Chris mum managed to get him laid down on the sofa and sat on the floor so he didn’t roll off. The kids were crying, I was frantically going over details with the 999 operator. I will never get over the look in chris eyes or the awful noise he made as he was fitting. He was aware, he could hear and see everything going on but he had no control. He can even tell me know what I was saying on the phone. Must admit I got a bit heated with the operator as the minutes seemed to go on forever. Whilst on the phone to them I managed to phone our dear friends who live a couple of roads away. I told her what was happening and she came to get the children. Chris had stopped fitting by the time the ambulance arrived, they were fantastic. They suggested the children see him as he had stopped fitting and it had scared them (and me). So the children went off with our friend as chris was being checked over. They wanted him to go into hospital, he didn’t want to go but in my mind there was no option, he has to go and get checked over fully. I got his meds together, got him a T-shirt and helped get him to his feet. The look on his face as I helped him to the door broke my heart, he was a broken man. I gave him a hug and said I will come and get him as soon as I can. I couldn’t collect him until 7.30pm.

So that was our Christmas Day, luckily the children seemed to have a lovely day spend with our dear friends and their children. I cannot ever thank them enough for being there for us on Christmas Day and letting our children join their family to try and forget about what had happened. I spent the day frantically waiting, looking at my phone for any updates (dejavu) .

We had our Christmas Day on Boxing Day, the children got to play with their new toys and we had a full blown Xmas dinner.

But this really has brought it home that he could go at any point. His speech has got worse since the seizure and his balance is worse. They have him on anti seizure meds now but the gp has suggested we get him fitted with an alarm. I’ve emphasised with him we need to get him recording reading to the children, voice recorded in bears as soon as, in case another seizure was to happen and it affect more. It’s the unknown which is so scary.