So I haven’t posted for a while as to be honest I haven’t been in the best place. Chris has had a bad couple of days and with other things as well it’s all for a bit to much. To see someone you love deteriorate right in front of your eyes and knowing there is nothing you can do about it as well as knowing it’s going to get worse whilst all the time trying to keep things normal and happy for the children, has taken its toll.
A go fund me account has been created to help us at this time. Most of you know we are living in a house with Chris’s Job. Well we are actually in our temporary one as work was carried out on the one we have rented for the past seven years. But we can’t go back to that one as the stairs are so dangerous. Chris would not be able to even go to the bathroom. So we are staying in this other house owned by the school for the time being. My biggest upset for Isaac, Noah, Imogen and I is that once chris passes we have six months and then need to find somewhere else to live. We are going to be leaving behind all our memories of daddy in that place. A place they called home and felt safe. I and the children are going to lose the man we love and the home he provides for us. My dream and I know it’s extremely far fetched is to be able to get our own home before he passes. A place the children can remember playing with daddy and mummy and daddy being happy. Next month his pay halves, we’ve got so much to sort out but tbh it feels like a mountain we are not able to climb.
We spoke to a lovely woman today from a charity who helps children deal with bereavement. So after Christmas we are going to have to in a delicate way tell the children daddy is going to die. We have no idea how long, when I asked the oncologist what to say if the children ask his answer was “he won’t die tomorrow, he won’t die next week but everyone dies at some point”. The lady today made it clear we need to start making memories for the children now, even little things so the children don’t grow up with regrets. It’s breaking my heart.
Anyway on a positive note I want to say a huge thank you to EVERYONE who has been there for us as a family for the past six weeks. Also for everybody who has in this financially difficult time donated towards finding a secure home for our children. We have a tough road ahead but it’s reassuring to know we have such wonderful friends who are there for us. You really all are our support network, we thank you all xxx