The past couple of days have been tough. The full effects of the radiotherapy are kicking in. Well at least I hope this is the worst it’s going to get. losing my hair I’m not bothered about, although every time I see my reflection in the window I think my Dad is looking back at me. My hand is still numb so can’t use my left thumb properly, as is the left side of my face. I keep getting the sweet metallic taste and my appetite is still huge. This means I’ve put on a lot of weight and simply carrying that around is wearing me out. I’m out of breath all the time.
I’m keeping myself busy and all the support and messages of love I’ve received are keeping my Strength score topped up. I’m trying to get all the ideas tha5 constantly swirl round my head out so that they can carry on and be of use, interest, entertainment to others. My radio show, (so my voice can be heard), my novel, book about creativity etc, even my ideas and thoughts on curriculum and how I’d run *my* school.
I have always been a person full of self-doubt... an example of which is when a Head of Year role came available at school the week I was in hospital, my immediate thought was that 5hey had waited until I was unable to apply. This, sometimes, crippling lack of self belief is something i want to overcome.
the messages I’ve had thanking me for ideas, and from children I firs5 taught 10 years ago have made me realise that actually I may have done a good job along the way. I want to leave a legacy, something for my family to proud of, but the fight goes on and I intend to be here to build that legacy.